Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
