Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dick very happy bro
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
