do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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