guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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