when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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