I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
