The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
