We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
