9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
