Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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