out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
