Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
