some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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