I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
