bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
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I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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