Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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