I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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