I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
