Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
