is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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