i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
