dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
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