I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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