Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
