I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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