I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
