I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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