when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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