I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
