Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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