I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
