You're my little dorito
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
