I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
