The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize