Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize