Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
