making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
