did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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