Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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