I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
