i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize