I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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