she woke up with a sticky ear
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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