i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
