just come out here and I will go home with you...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
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we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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