Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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