Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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