Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
