My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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