I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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