Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
