can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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