fuck your aforementioned shoe
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
