This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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