To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
