HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
