He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize